If you get a phone call, an email or a pop-up talking about your computer being infected it is most likely a ploy. Don’t fall for it, don’t download free tools to clean or optimize your machine. These are almost always trojans or another way for unwanted people to get access to your computer. The best way to deal with these people is to have fun… That is as long as you are protected! Behind a firewall and running up-to-date antivirus software?

Then you are cleared to begin…
Caller: Hello sir this is Ameal calling from the internets

Me:  Hi Ameal, wow nice to talk to someone from the internet

Caller: This is a serious matter. Your computer has a virus and is sending out your personal information

Me: I like unicorns

Caller: We need to talk about the removal process. We can help you….

Me: Can you talk in a woman’s voice and neh like a horse?

Caller: Sir, I dont think you are taking this seriously

Me: I dont think you are taking me seriously. I used this time to access your computer and now I see that you have a virus

Caller: Uhhh (hangs up)

Morale of the story – Enjoy telemarketers! Play the fool, try to sell them stuff and have fun! Post your results in the comments :)